17 January 2010
The Jam
Genius bottled
In response to cries of incredulity from one or two less than loyal friends re the Proprietor’s culinary skills, we present visual proof that jam making, at least, is well within the realms of the possible for the old chancer. It should be remembered that the kind of competence that one had in the kitchen as a student, for example, does not condemn one forever to the ranks of The Hopeless.
Here the Ironic Chef himself, in the throes of a creative cooking fever, bottles a fresh and fruity jam of unparalleled splendour.
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| This small batch is mixed red and black currant, and top notch it is too. |
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Tips for aspiring jam makers:
- Use small children as unpaid labour at picking time. This will reduce costs markedly, and give the little chisellers a taste of the life of hard and thankless graft they can look forward to.
- Give the same unpaid labourers the occasional day off. Get them fishing. This will put more food on the table, while fooling them into believing this is actually recreation.
- If you are following an actual jam recipe, use less sugar than they say, and simmer for longer.
A day off... |
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11 January 2010
Painter Takes Realist Photograph
Poultry find beaks out of joint
Celebrated artist Grahame Sydney visited last week, and sent us this shot of the feather.
Unsigned, unfortunately.
We have found that the chickens like to hang about the feather, perhaps because they erroneously imagine it to be some tribute to them. It is not. So when G. S. took an evening study on the hill, naturally the chickens insisted on inclusion.
They have let it be known that, although Sydney knows a thing or two about landscape, he has not put them in their best light as they see it.
We say they are lucky to be included at all, and frankly we are getting a bit fed up with their film star type airs and graces.
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11 January 2010
A Brave New Decade
Tempus Fugit
Hard to believe , but we are now entering our 11th year of Bloggery. Sheer bloody minded Bloggery. In 2000, we had hardly heard of a computer (we speak here of the curmudgeonly luddite Proprietor, who, let it be confessed, only started e-mailing in 2009). So it comes as something of a surprise that this fitful piece of fluff and nonsense has in fact spanned the whole of the last decade. As a record of the times, it will never serve as useful testament. Not Pepys then. It may help, however, to give an insight into the puerile and one-eyed mind of the Proprietor. In the unlikely event one might want such an insight. As well as a sporadic record of Matters Two Paddocks.
So ... the future beckon. And what of the now?
After a solid year of knocking his pipe out in the time-honoured Arthur Daly manner, the Prop. came back to find both land and personnel in good heart, and Two Paddocks fitter than ever.
Mike has taken up the reins in the vineyard with gusto, and now a year later, has established a bold new leadership that both respects tradition, and is prepared to innovate at the same time -- oh, alright, you’ve heard that kind of thing before -- suffice it to say, we all reckon Mike is bloody good, and he has a loyal following in the vineyard, and great respect and mana among his peers in the district. "Young Viticulturarist of the Year" Respect!
Mark, likewise, is looking Statesmanlike in his role as Manager . He is also living upstairs, so we know what he’s up to, and what he eats (in both cases , not much). Mark has Big Plans for Two Paddocks this year, but we are not allowed to tell you what they are yet. Watch this space.
Dean Shaw, winemaker, powers on with one terrific vintage after the next for T.P. at COWCO. Dean hasn’t smoked for some years now, a fact hard to grasp for those that know him well. Still can make a fool of himself on the dance floor, though. We’ve seen it ... not nice at all. Never mind, come Monday he’s back at work as if it never happened. And the wine is gorgeous.
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Currants and gooseberries -- fresh fodder for the proprietor's jam. |
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| Lavender in full bloom -- Bob, Nate and Keith have
all the vineyards looking immaculate. |
The Proprietor has discovered a flair for jam making – so far this season gooseberry, currant, and apricot. All triumphs, although the red and black currant has met with the most acclaim. Not For Sale, unfortunately.
Bob, Nate and Keith are the backbone of the work on the vineyard and on the farm, and they have all the vineyards looking immaculate. They are also much cleaner inside, now that Diane has brought a stern regime of tidyness and hygiene into the staff quarters. She has, as well, brought an orderliness to our books we never thought possible. The trains are running on time!
The animals are fine. The Boss (Fire) is slower – we now estimate her age at 18 yrs – but still as amiable and companionable as ever. The goat. Hamish, however, is sailing close to the wind having escaped several times out of whatever paddock he’s in, and been caught feeding in the flower garden. Such cavalier disregard for Rules and Fences is not to be countenanced. The Proprietor has issued a Stern Warning or two. These may sound like a string of oaths to you, but to a goat they are as good as Stage 1 Criminal Law, 101.
The sheep flourish. At least we think that’s what they are up to. They may be sheepishly plotting a coup d’etat for all we know. But they look well, and that’s the main thing, isn’t it?
The whistle has gone we’re afraid – it is the view of the ref that all this is getting too rural and idyllic by far . Enough already.
And the future can wait. |
